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[anonyx]

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"As we've seen time and again, so many of you would fuck a picket fence if it were white."

dw_maintenance

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I can't help but downgrade friends or cut them off entirely when they announce a pregnancy or new partner but at this point it's a defense mechanism because I've lost too many friends to kids and male partners where I've still tried to maintain the friendship and just get cast aside or used as extra help or a shoulder to cry on depending on which occurs and it ends up being an energy drain that I never signed up for.

[(Anonymous)]

You sound like a GREAT friend.

[(Anonymous)]

Go ahead and cut them off. You’re only doing them a favor in the long run by showing what kind of “friend” you truly are.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry the replies to this didn't have any empathy for you, anon. I can imagine the pain you must be in from being abandoned and used like that, so your skittishness makes sense. I hope one of these friends will go above and beyond for you one day and help you heal.

[(Anonymous)]

It sounds like this Anon can’t accept that friendships change over time.

[(Anonymous)]

That's not what it sounded like to me. It's not about friendships changing but the very real pattern of women's internalized misogyny making them devalue their friendships and take them for granted. It's a tale as old as time.

[(Anonymous)]

Not OP, but I have too many male friends whose entire personality became wife and kid guy, too. Like, they refuse to go anywhere without her.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh yeah, and I've had queer friends do the same. But it's a very common occurrence among female friends of a certain age. I've talked about it with my mother and she says it stops happening so much once you get into your late 40s and 50s so I guess that's something to look forward to.

[(Anonymous)]

We've all been there anon but honestly take a look at those friendships and see if they were meant to sustain big life changes or if they were temporary rocket booster kind of friends. A lot of my friends who I was devastated to lose in these situations looking back weren't the kind of friendships that were reciprocated at all.

[(Anonymous)]

I used to be a little like this and now I just treat all my relationships as transient and impermanent and I'm a lot happier. What I mean is that nothing is permanent in life anyway and we're all meant to serve a purpose and move on eventually. If we're still sticking around then it's for a reason etc.

[(Anonymous)]

I've lost so many friends to them turning having a child or getting married or getting a boyfriend that I get when you're coming from. I don't preemptively cut them off but I do mentally assume the friendship is probably over.